A VERY close relative of Ann and I recently became a father for the first time. His pride in, his devotion to and his love for his new son were most obvious. Yet he rapidly was robbed of any illusions he might have had regarding the raising of a child – especially as a baby; for when he visited us recently he summed up his parental experiences when it came to caring for his infant heir with the succinct and, one feels, highly pertinent words, ‘they keep you up all night and they stink’.

A jaundiced view one would have to say for there are so many joys to be had from your children – so much fulfilment especially when they grow away. Regarding babies, however, there is much truth in his weary, somewhat disgruntled words. The bringing up of children can be a time consuming, energy sapping, emotionally draining, worrying and financially demanding period in one’s life, and if you have, say, three or four ‘kids’ it can last for two or three decades.

Babies, of course, are helpless and have to be aided and cossetted in the simplest tasks; I talk here of the progeny of we human beings. Having been born and raised on a farm, it has long puzzled me why our young come into this world totally helpless, unable to do anything in pursuit of their own welfare, well-being and succour, whilst animals, generally, have a certain independence and self-reliance often within an hour of their birth.

A lamb is born, usually with no assistance from any other – although a good farmer will seek as often as possible to be nearby in case the ewe has problems and needs some help. The four legged woolly creature enters the world often to be followed by a brother or sister (many sheep have twins). The mother, unless suffering some sort of distress, will almost immediately set to and lick her offspring clean. Mind you, I’m not suggesting this should be the routine in NHS maternity wards; despite the financial problems suffered by this valued national institution, I’m confident sufficient funds will always be found to provide soap and hot water.

Within minutes of entering this world, lambs and calves – indeed, so much of the newly born in the animal kingdom – will be taking steps to look after themselves. Rapidly they will rise on spindly legs and seek to suck life giving milk from their mothers. After a reasonably short period of time they will augment the bounty from their mums by cropping grass; after just a few months ewes and cows alike will, to an extent, leave their offspring to fend for themselves; usually they are able to.

As to their ‘clothes’ they are happy with that in which they are born, and they never grow out of their ‘shoes’; thus cheap to keep. Contrast this with a human baby; whereas the offspring of most animals, farm, wild and domesticated, are able to fend for themselves very early in their lifespan, most homosapiens can only largely look after themselves following the passage of the best part of a quarter of their projected period on this mortal coil.

Then there is the cost, especially in this day and age; cribs, carry cots, nappies, special foods, clothes and footwear (all of which rapidly become too small), toys, medicines and so much else. As they grow older there are the, often, problems – even traumas – brought about by their schooling including the exhausting and often nerve-racking business known as Parent’s Evening when, on occasions, the ‘apple’ of a mother and father’s ‘eye’ will be damned by faint praise if there be any at all. There is the almost constant free taxi service ferrying youngsters to a plethora of after school activities, too.

In many instances there are the teenage years when many a lad and lass expect to be able to live their lives by their own rules and standards – but are quite happy to do so under their parents’ roof although making no contribution to its maintenance; to be fair, in this direction our four sons always treated Ann and I with generosity, respect and thoughtfulness.

Youngsters then become adults – officially at least – and go out into the world; well, most do but a fair number, aware that ‘there’s no place like home’ are reluctant to ‘fly the nest’. Once having ‘flown’ they will sometimes bring to parents – often ageing – their problems whether emotional, financial or health-wise.

So is it worth having kids? Oh yes; ours might on occasions bring their problems to us but overwhelmingly they bring joy, pleasure and a sense of purpose to our lives – along with the grandchildren of course. Ewes, in ultimately spurning their progeny, miss out on so much that is precious.